I could not see any wrong in you, and you saw none in me.
It's funny, how you know a certain situation is bound to happen. Still, even though you see the boulder rolling down the cliff and you are running continually looking back, it will gain enough momentum to squish you. When it does, it will hit your stomach like a cannonball. You'll feel like you should be the only person in the world who matters at that exact moment in time and everything else should stop.
How could you not have better prepared yourself for these things?
So I guess this means I am becoming a real grown up, dealing with change. I'm trying not to revert back into old habits of ignoring a situation and pretending it does not exist and closing a person out.
It's sort of like tax day. That shit sucks. But, you prepare for it by not waiting until April 15th and everything is hunky dory and providing all is square, you get a chunk of change back. Pay off.
Or like going on a trip. Or moving. You know you will have to pack, so why put it of until the last possible moment or until it's too late and you forget your toothbrush? Payoff, you get a new toothbrush. Or underwear. Or whatever you forgot.
Somewhere there has to be a pay off. to make it worth while some how, some where, to some one.
I knew the day would come and someone else would be seen. But I never actually wanted that day to come.
Hopefully there still is a payoff waiting in the wings.
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14 years ago
