What if everything ever just happened and you had nothing to look forward to besides the possibility of something happening?
At times I think that I like the build-up better than the actual event, more than the actual feeling.
Some days I wake up and consider what it would be like to feel nothing at all. Once I tried to teach myself to see without my glasses. It didn't work and I got a headache.
I attempted to live without remorse or regards to other people's feelings. It lasted roughly twelve hours and I felt terrible and empty and selfish. Often I have wondered if I feel too much. I think I would rather feel too much than feel nothing at all.
One morning upon waking up I tried to tell myself that This won't matter in a year, Let it go, but I was wrong. It mattered. Everything does.
