Weekly Review

Macho Man Randy Savage died in a car accident caused by a heart attack. Rumor has it the world is going to end and the band the Rapture is coming to play their biggest show ever on Saturday, just days after I proclaimed this is going to be the BEST SUMMER EVER. Studies show that sneezing while running on a treadmill will result in mild stumbling and laughter for the following mile. Tuesday marked the arrival and accomplishment of a successfully shipped pie to Omaha. The pie arrived fully intact and the recipient was quoted saying "This pie is the best thing in the world... I don't like it. I LOVE it!"