New environments reveal the less than savory idiosyncratic tendencies of people. Or more so, my own idiosyncrasies have become painfully apparent. And the more I experience it, the more I think about it. And the more I think about it, the worse it gets. For example.
I prefer to enter the restroom at work when no one is exiting, washing their hands, or currently in a stall.
Nothing out of the ordinary.
The eye contact is really what gets me. Or the lack there of. There is nothing comfortable about connecting glances with other females while entering or exiting a bathroom. It is even worse if you're both washing your hands simultaneously. The cake-topper: people brushing their teeth. Who does that? You are in a public space with people just trying to get in, do their business, and leave. And there she is perched over the sink, scrubbing her mouth and spitting. This is at the top of the "do-not-make-eye-contact" list.
But let's consider the eye contact. If you make eye contact on the way to the bathroom, perhaps exchange a forced "Hello," you know you're going to be sitting down at the same time. And thus begins the waiting game. Nothing comfortable about waiting for them to make the first move, but it's also hard to make yourself go under so much pressure. It's a game of wits. Usually I win, rush to wash my hands and leave. We will never speak of this interaction.
Next, if you're entering when they're exiting, you seem somehow excited. They pull open the door when you were trying push through. You essentially fall into them, make eye contact like, "I'm sorry, but you also entered the bathroom not that long ago, don't look at me like I'm crazy," give the "Sorry" smile, and proceed.
Also hope that you are not walking past a stall when someone is leaving one. It's just strange because you don't really want to feel like a robot who does not acknowledge another person's presence, but consider. Would you really want to make eye contact with that person leaving their stall moments after they did their business? It's like you're looking into their soul, saying, "I know what you just did. And everyone who comes in will, too." And no one wants to be on the giving or receiving end of these glances.
Find a happy medium. Know what your eye contact expresses. You don't want to appear to be the new person with zero confidence, but you also do not want to be the excitable, over eager one either. You enjoy simple interactions with human beings. Let the nuances happen. Acknowledge them. Smile. Learn from the everyday.
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14 years ago
